In 2016 my daughter passed away. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. The major byproduct of this trauma was a life assessment. Now understand, I’m a nurse so assessments mean a look at the whole person. Not a look at one aspect or another, but a look at all aspects. I found that I was very good at preaching and building up others, in how to solidify a relationship or lines of communication with the God Head. But with myself I had ancient strongholds, these strongholds are my home in storms.
If you know me you know that, I have complete access to the throne of my King. I speak His words, dream His dreams and See His visions. It has recently become apparent that this is only one way. It has become very apparent that I give access to what I’m comfortable with. Sex, Love, Money, Relationships, no problem. I will stand before Him without shame and give access to all of this. Brothers of mine, that I am sharing my time here with will testify to this truth. But, confrontation with the obstacles before me, control over the future. Here in lies the rub.
I will stand before the enemy with a tiny Swiss Army knife with an attachment for any problem and poke and poke and poke. The enemy appears to back down for a moment. I think I won. But its a ploy, a deception designed to consume my time, my energy, and my treasures. My resources fade as the enemy taunts me back onto the battlefield, and I end up in my cave, much like Elijah. The Lord standing by ready to take over if only I would relinquish control.
1 Kings 19 9-18
9 There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.[a] 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 14 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 15 And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. 16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. 17 And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. 18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”
After all Elijah had done, all he had accomplished, he withdrew to his safe place and hid. The Lord showed him, storm winds, earthquakes, and fire may be all around you. But He is not them.
My, “what are you doing here,” is here. Will I surrender my worries, exchange it for worship and allow my battles to become blessings. I will try.
Lord I give you my stronghold, knock it down, collapse it in on itself and let me watch You fight for me. I accept Your invitation for intimacy. I will be observant, curious, and learn to trust you. Trust.
Amen
Behold I Saw 